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What a difference a year makes - #8
2009: It was a year of severely diminished options. I learned that you rarely think about the choices you are used to making on a regular basis - until you don't have them anymore.
Can we...
Shop for...anything?
Go out for dinner?
Put gas in the car?
Pay a doctor if we get sick or hurt?
Afford a "luxury" like new glasses or contacts?
Take the cats to the vet?
Buy a gift?
Repair or replace an appliance?
Have any work done on the house?
Even entertain the thought of making a non-essential purchase?
Help anyone else?
2009 said, "NO!" It took away our options and our freedom and put us completely at the mercy of whatever fate dealt us.
It was like holding our breath every day, hoping against hope that nothing that required money would be necessary.
The emotional weight of all that "NO!" many days made us want to curl up in a fetal position and just give up. We felt so ashamed of our circumstances that it was really uncomfortable to be around others. Should they ask how things were, all we had was our tale of doom and gloom, which frankly was misery to recount because we were living it each and every day. It got harder and harder to put on a brave face, pretending that it didn't kill us to be around others who - without ever meaning to - reminded us of all we didn't have and all we couldn't do.
2010: Our options are returning. All it took was some decent, dependable income for our sense of empowerment to return.
Can we...
Tend to our own material and physical needs and the needs of those who depend on us?
Have a buffer in the budget?
Save some money?
Repay debt?
Occasionally "treat" ourselves or someone else?
Breathe again?
Rejoin the human race?
2010 says, "YES!"
It's going to be a long road back, but the important thing is that we are on that road and taking one step at a time in the right direction.
We owe an enormous debt of gratitude to all those who helped us in a myriad of ways last year when things were so awful for us. We appreciate your generosity in every form it took. We will pay it forward, especially knowing how much that generosity meant to us at that low point in our lives.
Today would have been my mom's 91st birthday. She passed away back in March and today I'm thinking that this is the first time in my life that I haven't been able to wish her a happy day and remind her to spend it celebrating herself. I'll have to celebrate her myself with my memories and by taking some time to reflect on her legacy in my life.
It is an extraordinary honor to have been born your daughter. By your example, you taught me that women are smart and strong and resourceful. By your example, you taught me that life is a precious gift full of joy and purpose: That it is as important to know how to enjoy life as it is to work hard and utilize my talents. These lessons have served me well throughout my life.
