NaBloPoMo '11 - #2

Things I've learned since becoming a freelance writer

2. I am quite interesting. (You'd know that if you'd shut the hell up and LISTEN to me!)

Perhaps it comes from being the youngest in a household of terribly interesting people - I grew up without trusting that I had a "voice" worth listening to. Or maybe I cultivated it within myself by internalizing a myriad of self-doubts and negative experiences along the way that convinced me that I didn't have much of interest to say and was therefore easily ignored. Whatever the cause, I naturally fell into the habit of being "shy" - not forthcoming with opinions or emotions, unwilling to share my "real self" with many people, for fear of experiencing the lack of respect and the rejection that is manifested by being ignored.

But I've overcome it - especially in the last several years. I have learned that I am indeed quite interesting, clever, intelligent and not a bad conversationalist - IF you bother to listen. I will not, however, beg for your attention. If your pet, children or another conversation is more compelling than I am to you, by all means, heed what you must. But should you be interested in what I have to say, you most likely won't be disappointed.

In fact, rather than accept being ignored, now I am insulted by it. If listening to me isn't worth a few moments of your undivided attention (which I respectfully give to others) then I see that as an unwillingness to really know me. I'm not fast food you can consume without thought. I'm a real meal, worth savoring, at least for a little while.