I have been rejected for a writing gig for which I recently applied. While on one level, it stings and feels like a blow to my ego and talent, I am not feeling all that bad about it. Upon considerable reflection on the situation, I've decided that it was actually for the best. (I promise you this is not a case of "sour grapes.") It simply comes down to this: I am insulted - and here's why.
I was excited for the opportunity to write and submit a sample as an "audition" for a freelance case study writer for this "financial guru" guy, promising a steady stream of work to the successful candidate. The "assignment" was to use the provided emails and survey results to craft a case study about a woman who had experienced great career gains after having taken his course. I followed his instructions and submitted an articulate, creative and compelling case study of which I was exceedingly proud. Having sent it, I was feeling optimistic but trying not to get my hopes up too high. I had resolved that, whatever happened, it had been a great experience and had demonstrated just how much I enjoy the process of case study writing. The hardest part, frankly, (to quote Tom Petty) was the waiting to hear one way or the other.
Thursday, March 31. 2011
The Rewards of NOT Getting the Job
I have to say I was pleased at the timeliness of the rejection email. It had crossed my mind that there was the possibility that I'd never hear anything if I wasn't hired so I've got to give him credit for sending this less than two weeks after my submission. But that's where the credit ends. After reading the rejection email, I'm not upset that I wasn't hired - I'm insulted by the manner in which I was rejected.
Attached to his rejection email was an audio recording which he'd prefaced with this statement: "As a thank you for your time, here's a small case study I put together for you on how to read your client’s mind. I hope this comes in useful in future applications." I listened intently to the 10+ minute recording with hopes of gleaning some nuggets of wisdom on how to better meet the needs of my clients. Instead, it was him talking about how he hired an interior decorator on the basis of how she applied for job. He clearly stated that he hired her based upon her presentation, saying nothing about how the quality of her work compared to the other applicants. It became increasingly evident that he was saying that he has some internal criteria by which he chooses which has more to do with him than about the quality of the product he is evaluating. He hired her based upon how much she fit that internal criteria - criteria which seemed to include "reading his mind" which I believe to be code for pandering to his sense of self-importance. It was obvious that he was saying he did not necessarily hire the best interior decorator - he hired the one who stroked his ego best.
This is not a lesson I needed to learn. I want to create content for those who want excellent quality, engaging writing. I have no desire to be paid to pander to ego - I am not a prostitute he can pay to fluff up his self-image. What kind of a game is he playing? In essence, this came down to him actually saying, "You did not get the job because you didn't read my mind." Wow - what an egotistical douchebag! I happen to pride myself on my ability to get to the "meat" of what my clients want. That's what I do! When it is my job to discover that, I can and I do very well, thank you very much.
Telling me I was rejected for not "reading his mind" is paramount to telling me I didn't exert the necessary effort to "deserve" this job. That is the most insulting part of this because, believe me, I'm no slacker and I resent him implying that I am. If I'd known we were playing parlor games, I wouldn't have wasted the day and a half that I took to create the case study.
If my writing didn't do it for him, I can live with that. I'm sure that will happen frequently - that's why Baskin-Robbins has 31 flavors. What I can't abide is him telling me I didn't put forth enough effort to "read his mind." This arrogant douchebag is playing games with my career and I don't want to work for someone like that. It's onward and upward for me, leaving this asshole to the kiss-ups!
Attached to his rejection email was an audio recording which he'd prefaced with this statement: "As a thank you for your time, here's a small case study I put together for you on how to read your client’s mind. I hope this comes in useful in future applications." I listened intently to the 10+ minute recording with hopes of gleaning some nuggets of wisdom on how to better meet the needs of my clients. Instead, it was him talking about how he hired an interior decorator on the basis of how she applied for job. He clearly stated that he hired her based upon her presentation, saying nothing about how the quality of her work compared to the other applicants. It became increasingly evident that he was saying that he has some internal criteria by which he chooses which has more to do with him than about the quality of the product he is evaluating. He hired her based upon how much she fit that internal criteria - criteria which seemed to include "reading his mind" which I believe to be code for pandering to his sense of self-importance. It was obvious that he was saying he did not necessarily hire the best interior decorator - he hired the one who stroked his ego best.This is not a lesson I needed to learn. I want to create content for those who want excellent quality, engaging writing. I have no desire to be paid to pander to ego - I am not a prostitute he can pay to fluff up his self-image. What kind of a game is he playing? In essence, this came down to him actually saying, "You did not get the job because you didn't read my mind." Wow - what an egotistical douchebag! I happen to pride myself on my ability to get to the "meat" of what my clients want. That's what I do! When it is my job to discover that, I can and I do very well, thank you very much.
Telling me I was rejected for not "reading his mind" is paramount to telling me I didn't exert the necessary effort to "deserve" this job. That is the most insulting part of this because, believe me, I'm no slacker and I resent him implying that I am. If I'd known we were playing parlor games, I wouldn't have wasted the day and a half that I took to create the case study.
If my writing didn't do it for him, I can live with that. I'm sure that will happen frequently - that's why Baskin-Robbins has 31 flavors. What I can't abide is him telling me I didn't put forth enough effort to "read his mind." This arrogant douchebag is playing games with my career and I don't want to work for someone like that. It's onward and upward for me, leaving this asshole to the kiss-ups!
I know I have referenced my three part resolution in the past, but not shared it with anyone but J
Let me know what you think:
Part 1 - Stop letting the people who f*&@ with your head, f*&@ with your head.
Part 2 - Stop f*&@ing crying when people recognize your talent in the form of a compliment. You f*&@ing deserve them.
Part 3 - When you don't succeed, it is not a failure if you get back up and try again tomorrow.
It's all too easy to get wrapped up in gaining the approval of those upon whom we rely for work and forget just how much we bring to the table. Yes, we are talented and entitled to respect - not exploitation!
It sounds like you are well on your way to realizing the distinction between their opinion (and agenda) and your talent. Unfortunately, as I am just now learning, sometimes the twain don't meet...
It's all a life lesson for me, to trust in myself, hang tough and, as you wisely have resolved, try again tomorrow.
I know this above all else, however: as for the f*&#ing crying, it's gonna take me a while to stop doing that. Yes, I need some practice in processing that thrill sans tears...