In Search Of My Inner Upside Down-ness

Upside down cats…anyone who knows a cat is familiar with this pose. It says, “I feel so secure that I can assume this position of complete vulnerability. I am willing to expose my soft underbelly – at grave risk that it may be attacked – or worse yet – petted, kissed or nuzzled!” I wish I could feel as comfortable in my own skin as my cats do in theirs! Since the technique of lying around with the sun shining on my tummy waiting to feel at peace with myself and the universe probably won’t be as effective for me as it is for my cats, I will do what I know can help me find my bliss.

So I’m going to write - right here – about things that occupy my mind. By bringing my inner life out of my head I’ll be able to actually look at it as if I had an internal mirror. I think the key to finding my nirvana is to be at peace with that mirror’s reflection.

It’s worked for me before…
I have always turned to writing as a way to clarify my thoughts and keep myself on and even keel. I kept a diary when I was 10 and 11 years old. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, but it helped my deal with several traumatic events. As a teenager I was extremely introverted, and written words were my only form of true expression. In school, any time I was assigned to write an analysis or essay I would be thrilled for the opportunity to express myself. Journalling helped me through the roughest time of my life 17 years ago, helping me put some overwhelming feelings into perspective.

As life becomes more complicated every day, I find I not only enjoy breathing life into my mental ramblings, opinions and memories, but I crave the activity…I have a need to give these emotionally felt notions substance with actual words. My greatest aspiration is to become a metaphorical “Upside Down Cat,” comfortable in the world, with myself and willing to risk my soft underbelly...