She Was Just Grand(ma)

Meet Grandma Bessie, my dad's mother.

She and I were EXTREMELY close. She came to live with our family when Grandpa died, a decade before I was born. The story goes, I crawled out of my crib at the age of two, crawled into bed with Grandma, and we remained roommates for the next eight years. We shared a room until she became so ill it was impractical for us both.

In many respects, she was another mom to me. Mom worked long hours when I was growing up to help support our family of seven and put three daughters through college. Consequently, Grandma did a lot for and with me. Honestly, I have more memories of Grandma in the first ten years of my life than I do of Mom.

Grandma dusted the house every Friday, right after her bath and before her stories, which is what she called her soap operas. I remember her watching Another World, Search For Tomorrow, The Secret Storm, Love Is A Many Splendored Thing, The Doctors, The Days of Our Lives and The Guiding Light. Oh, and she never missed The Price Is Right! She loved to watch Westerns, too...Gunsmoke, The Virginian, Bonanza, and High Chaparral. Gee, I wonder where my obsession with TV comes from...?

Grandma also cooked. She made huge pans of delicious baked beans every Friday, along with her incredible homemade bread. I remember hot dogs served with those baked beans on Saturday afternoons. And that bread...indescribably delicious! Several years ago I asked my mom for Grandma Bessie's bread recipe. I have made it many times, and I almost get tears in my eyes from the memories it brings back! I've tried to make the beans according to the recipe Mom gave me, but my results never seem to measure up to my recollection. Oh well, I'll always have the bread...

Because we shared a bed, Grandma taught me to pray. Sure, I learned to recite prayers, but she taught me more than that. We would talk afterwards...reflect on our day together. I've carried that habit with me my whole life. In essence, Grandma taught me how to meditate.

I remember insisting I sit on her lap in the car on our way to visit my sister Patricia when she was in the convent - even though her wool coat would feel uncomfortably scratchy. I remember being emotionally comforted in her lap countless times.

Random memories of Grandma Bessie:

-The bag of M & Ms she kept stashed in her top dresser drawer...She would dole them out to me from time to time, but it was Grandma's candy, and I respected that.

-The Muget cologne she wore which smelled like Lily of the Valley. That happens to be the flower for May, the month I was born...I always thought that was a nice coincidence. Whenever I smell them in my garden, I think of Grandma.

-The dentures she never wore...Except that one day when I returned home from school and she was wearing them! From my reaction, you'd think she'd met me at the door with fangs dripping with blood!

-The "worms" on the back of her hands. I remember asking her why she had worms on her hands and she gently told me that's just how old hands look.

-The hairnets she wore. She always put one on after she fixed her hair in the morning.

-The Word "Grand." When we took her on vacation out West so she could see scenery like she saw in the Westerns she enjoyed so much, she would always say, "That's just grand!"

-The nightly party. When it was bedtime, instead of saying, Go get your pajamas on!" Grandma would tell me, "It's time for Nellie White's Party!" So we'd head off to this special event, rather than boring old bedtime. Did I mention she was a genius?!

The extra special lady in Scott's family was his great-grandmother, Nonny. It's an interesting thing that we both had such close relationships with such great grandmothers! It's another commonality we share that creates a form of shorthand when we talk about dear people who've touched our lives. We agree that it is these memories that we hold in our hearts and that guide our lives that make people truly live on eternally.

I am thankful for Grandma Bessie! She was the kindest, sweetest, most gentle woman I have ever known. I hope that I live my life up to the example that she gave.